if you’ve ever written a food blog, you’ll know two things:
1. it is a highly profitable pastime which generates a substantial income, and
2. people will constantly suggest restaurants you should try out.
as a food blogger with literally tens of readers, i often find myself on the receiving end of restaurant suggestions, both welcome and not.

lately, i’ve been hearing positive things about matt moran’s chiswick and honeycomb in darlinghurst. but before i could get to those establishments, i had to check out an eatery several people had suggested i try: mcdonald’s restaurant.

a friend had mentioned to me that mcdonald’s restaurant was actually located in my suburb, which was rather lucky, as my area isn’t exactly known for it’s culinary expertise. so i decided to investigate. 

as it turns out, there are quite a few of these places. a quick internet search revealed that mcdonald’s is a chain of hamburger restaurants that began in california in 1940 as a barbecue restaurant operated by richard and maurice mcdonald. the promise of delicious hamburgers was enough; i was there. 

my attempt to review mcdonald’s restaurant did not get off to a great start, as i had a difficult time finding it at first. there was no sign saying “mcdonald’s” out the front, but instead a logo which resembled yellow archways, so i ended up walking straight past it. perhaps more visible signage would help bring more customers in. 

once inside i waited to be seated for several minutes, however was unfortunately not shown to a table. perhaps the maitre d’ was not in that day. i decided to take a seat at one of the tables in the restaurant’s alfresco courtyard. again, i found myself waiting for around ten minutes for someone to take my order, which was incredibly frustrating. already disappointed by the service, i ventured over to the counter and ordered directly with one of the staff. 

the menu was displayed high on a wall, and after looking over the options i decided on a “quarter pounder” burger, with french fries, coca cola and something called a “mcflurry”, which the server recommended to me as a particularly delicious dessert choice.

i went to return to my seat, but before i got there my meal was ready. what it lacked in table service, the restaurant certainly made up in speed. i was somewhat put off, however, to see my meal arrive on a plastic tray adorned with a paper advertisement for the restaurant. it was a rather tacky presentation, and confusing too as i was already dining there- why advertise to customers who have already bought your food?

quarter pounder burger 

presentation aside, i must admit i was excited to try the hamburger, which was served in a box. i figured, if this place had been trading successfully for over 70 years, the food would certainly taste great. turns out, this assumption was foolishly misguided. the “quarter pounder” burger had little to no flavour and included rubbery cheese and a sugary bread bun. for a hamburger restaurant, i expected a great deal more. 

french fries, large

the fries were lukewarm, cardboardesque and lacked substance. eating them was like watching kristen stewart act. 

double chocolate fudge mcflurry

time for dessert. the serving container indicated that my “mcflurry” would be “thick and creamy.” the packaging continued to boast, “what gives mcflurry that creamy taste? it’s the soft serve made with real milk of course!” well, mcflurry, i don’t remember asking what gave you a creamy taste. and furthermore, “real milk”? how can you brag so flagrantly about something that should be a given? were mcdonald’s previously making their “mcflurry” desserts using imitation milk? i have to say i was rather deterred by mcflurry’s arrogance. thou doth protest too much methinks, mcflurry, and you don’t at all taste like real milk. 

overall, i was disappointed with my mcdonald’s restaurant experience. the quality of the product is poor and the food has an almost mass-produced feel to it. i also suspect it is not particularly nutrimental either. having said that, the prices are very reasonable with a variety of burger meals available under $10. the verdict: while no culinary landmark, this is certainly the type of restaurant that would really appeal to families, especially those with limited knowledge of fresh produce. check it out if you have exhausted all other options, or are feeling slovenly. 

I have a dream.

I have a dream that one day fussy eaters will rise up eat whatever is put in front of them.

I have a dream that one day the fussy eaters and the non fussy eaters will be able to sit down together at a table without hearing “what’s that green stuff on the chicken?”

I have a dream that one day even the pickiest people, who only eat avocado in guacamole or tomatoes in tomato sauce, will be transformed into functioning human dinner guests.

I have a dream that one day phrases like “I don’t eat Chinese/Italian/Mexican food,” “capers are weird” and “I can’t eat anything here, can we go somewhere else?” will be but distant memories.

I have a dream today!

I have a dream that one day every lettuce leaf shall remain on it’s burger, and every salad shall be served with it’s dressing,the crusts will be left on, and the olives shall not be picked off.

I have a dream that one day people will realise that trying something new will not kill them, that having a taste of pesto will not bring about their demise, that life is short and there are much tougher hardships to face than being served a new food.

This is my hope, and this is the faith that I go back to the kitchen with.

With this faith, cooks will be able to hew out of the mountain of despair a stone of hope. With this faith, we will be able to transform the uneasy discord of our dinner parties into a beautiful symphony of brotherhood. With this faith, we will be able to eat together, to go out together, to split bills together, to share pizzas together, to travel on the sushi train together, knowing that we will be free of fussiness one day.

And this will be the day — this will be the day when all of the home cooks and frustrated parents will be able to sing with new meaning:

My kitchen is not a restaurant, of thee I sing.

Eat what you’re given, or go home hungry,

From every table, let fussiness end!

And if dinner is to continue to be served, this must become true.

And so let fussiness end in school lunchboxes.

Let fussiness end at the Christmas dinner.

Let fussiness end at the barbecue lunch.

But not only that:

Let fussiness end when someone has taken the time to make you something special.

Let fussiness end at every meal that is not made up of plain carbohydrates and unseasoned meat.

At every table, in every home, let fussiness end.

And when this happens, when we allow fussiness to end, when we let it end from every village and every cafe, from every state and every city, we will be able to speed up that day when all the cooks who wish to try a new dish will be able to say:

                Free at last! Free at last!

                Thank Jamie Oliver, we are free at last!

ok campers, christmas is officially one week away. if you’re like me, you’ll engage in some panicked online shopping this week in an attempt to avoid visiting those seemingly unstaffed shops that rhyme with mavid pones and nyer. 

but before you start freaking the feliz navidad out, i may have a solution for you. the macaron masterclass at sydney’s baroque bistro is a brilliant gift for the foodie in your life. and, seeing as the masterclass takes six hours, it’s also a brilliant gift for someone you’d like a six hour break from. i was recently given the masterclass as a birthday gift and decided to document the process for anyone who has ever thought about making/successfully made/unsuccessfully made macarons. this is how it went…

i arrive at baroque in the rocks at the frightening time of 9am on a sunday. this certainly isn’t an outing for church goers and/or people who like to go hard on a saturday night. who knew those groups had anything in common? 

i’m instantly greeted by a delectable display of perfect macarons and begin to feel rather excited. established in 2009, baroque is a delectably french combination of a bistro restaurant and patisserie. having recently concluded that baroque’s are the best macarons in sydney (a big call i concede, but you know i’m right), i was keen to find out their secrets. 

the class is run by the insanely talented chef jean-michel raynaud. i won’t go in to his exceptionally long and illustrious career, but needless to say meeting him was kinda like meeting a pastry rock star. i am delighted to find out that he is absolutely lovely, patient and kind. i guess you’d have to be if you had eight non-chefs invading your kitchen every sunday. that’s pretty much my worst nightmare. 

first, there’s a detailed discussion about macarons, and yes i said macarons, macaroons are the coconut cookies- don’t get it confused, people. next, we learn our day will be broken up into two parts. in the morning we will focus on creating fillings and ganache, with some time to practice piping shells. then there’s a light lunch (win) before we return in the afternoon to make the shells, pipe the fillings and assemble the macarons.  

the macarons on our agenda today are dark chocolate and salted caramel. we split into teams of two to make our ganache fillings before jean michel demonstrates the intricate process of creating a macaron shell. we learn that it is incredibly important to make the shell using an italian meringue base- meaning a meringue made with sugar syrup as opposed to one made simply with granulated sugar. this is a more difficult process, as sugar syrups are notoriously prone to crystallisation, but the result is a beautiful smooth, shiny macaron. we watch jean michel expertly pipe the shells into perfect circles. doesn’t seem too hard, i think..

… turns out it is quite difficult. we each get a tray and a piping bag and set off attempting to recreate what our remarkable teacher accomplished so easily. while i have piped before, this is slightly more difficult as it is important to ensure that the ‘peak’ that forms as you pull the piping bag away is in the middle of the shell, otherwise it will rise unevenly. control over the bag is also important to ensure you don’t overpipe and end up with burger-sized macarons, although i can’t help but think that would be awesome. the above is my tray, which according to jean michel is “not bad for a first go,” but clearly ain’t perfect. we dust our uncoloured test shells with pistachios and get ready for lunch. 

which, it turns out, is fantastic. we receive a generous serving of baguette sandwiches, roast vegetables, fries, salad and more. the food in the bistro is delicious and i make a mental note to return again for their famous sunday roti du jour (roast of the day).

back to the kitchen and we get cracking on our flavoured macarons. we combine our glossy italian meringue with icing sugar and almond meal, as well as chocolate food colouring. i try to avoid eating directly from the bowl.

next, we pipe. this time with the aid of a handy template which sits under a silicon baking mat. after a helpful tutorial from jean michel, i feel my piping instantly improve and am happy with my second tray. 

off they go to the person sized rotating oven for perfect, even cooking.

before we know it there are approximately three million macarons before us and i am desperate to dig in. i eat two within thirty seconds and another one a minute later. feeling sated, i take my remaining macarons and pop them in a box to take home. 

though jean michel was very complimentary and told us they were excellent for a first attempt, when prompted he did admit that they weren’t quite up to baroque standards (see bottom right macaron for further reference). nonetheless, they taste amazing and we all feel a great sense of pride at our creations. 

baroque’s macaron masterclass is $220, which includes lunch, a baroque apron, an entire day with one of the country’s finest pastry chefs and a box of your very own macarons. after taking part in the class i can say it is a wonderful experience and well worth the price. jean michel is a fantastic teacher and his relaxed attitude makes it a joy to learn how to much such a typically frustrating dessert. 

if you’re interested in the macaron masterclass check out www.baroquebistro.com.au and be prepared for everyone you know to ask you to make them macarons all. the. time.

merry christmas!

if you’re a food-lover, you have probably heard a lot of the “r” word lately. no, not rissole. i’m talking about all things “rustic.” these days it’s impossible to flick through a cookbook or read a restaurant review without seeing some mention of rustic cookery. sensing that this trend could have more staying power than the sundried tomato craze of the 90’s, i decided to investigate.

a quick look around the food mag section at my local newsagent reveals an array of rustic images. from wooden boards and meals served in pots, to frayed or creased table linen, mismatched plates, sauces served in measuring cups and crumbled biscuits; it sure is a rustic month out there in magazine world.

yet rustic style extends far beyond publishing. restaurants are replacing stiff, leather-bound menus with brown paper, chalkboards and printed placemats. peasant-style dishes, second-class cuts of meat and nose-to-tail cookery are suddenly chic, while shared plates and communal dining are overtaking stuffy a la carte options.

take sydney chef warren turnbull, for example. he developed his new restaurant district dining as a casual counterpoint to his two-hatted assiette. district ticks several rustic boxes. bare tables? check. wooden boards? check. blackboard menu? chalk… i mean check.

turnbull’s not alone. rusticity has made its way into some of the world’s most renowned restaurants. copenhagen’s noma serves a dish called “radishes in soil.” presented in a terra cotta pot, the dish features three radishes sitting in “soil” made of crushed malt, hazelnuts and beer. it’s a remarkably rustic dish for a restaurant twice voted “best in the world” by restaurant magazine.

other michelin-starred chefs getting rustic include heston blumenthal, whose new london restaurant “dinner” features a dress code described as “comfortable,” and ireland’s dylan mcgrath, who swapped molecular gastronomy for stone cooking, opening dublin restaurant “rustic stone” in 2010.

but is rustic just another word for lazy? after all, it wasn’t long ago that we were arranging chive sprigs, layering ingredients into ring moulds, carving radish roses and discarding any plate that wasn’t white. call it the jamie oliver effect, but I think it’s more about finding great ingredients, and treating them as simply as possible.

so, fancy getting in on the rustic scene? just remember to relax and leave intricate plating to trembling masterchef contestants. keep in mind rustic’s true meaning: “simple and charming in a way seen as typical of the countryside.” 

why not dish up on mismatched plates, place antipasto on a beautiful wooden board, or pour drinks into jam jars? you could serve slow-cooked meats right out of the pot, or gnocchi in a shallow pan.  or, swap linen and glass vases for bare tables and unusual flower vessels, like old watering cans or ceramic water jugs. another handy tip is to write your food blog in lowercase text.

and if all else fails, just throw some radishes in a garden pot. if it works for the best restaurant in the world, your family will surely love it for dinner too.

(image: rustic fritto misto de verdura at cotogna, san francisco)